Angus asks Billy Bonza

Angus asks Billy Bonza:

'I can’t understand fractions. Does that mean I’m dumb? My mate Abdul says they’re easy. I’m 9 years old and my name’s Angus.'

G’day Angus. Billy here mate. Billy Bonza, Thought Detective at your service.

My detective sensibilities tell me that your self-talk is playing tricks on you. You’re telling yourself stuff that’s not true. This kind of ‘nut natter’ is attached to some beliefs you might have that you are not aware of. So, what are you thinking?

‘I don’t understand fractions. Abdul does. He’s smart and I’m not.' Your thinking rule is, 'I should be able to do this, and I can’t so I’m diddly doo da dumb!’ Am I close to the mark Angus?

This is what I call Brain Bully Banter, your brain has decided to forget all the things that make you who you are, and it’s taken one thing and it has decided that it describes and defines you. So, Brain Bully says. ‘I am dumb.’ And that’s that.

Remember when you first rode a bike by yourself? And the time your mate said that he thought you acted in a kind way when he needed your help? These are a couple of things that remind you that you can’t be dumb! If you can ride a bike and tie your laces, then you’re not nor can you be dumb. Right got that Angus?

So, we detected a Brain Bully kind of thinking and now we have to change it. You practice saying to yourself:

I don’t understand fractions yet (but I will eventually)

I can do lots of other stuff.

I can’t be diddly doo da dumb!

This is called Brain Friend nut natter and it’s true because the evidence says so. So when you hear Brain Bully talking tell him to get lost.

I hope this helps Angus. Let me know how you go!

 

Billy Bonza Thought Detective is a fictitious Rational Emotive Behaviour Counsellor employing the ideas and principles of Dr Albert Ellis' ABC Theory of Emotional Disturbance to help people help themselves. He helps people work out how their thinking can help or hinder them. If you have any questions please send them in.